On Boredom
“Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable”
Coaches love pointless euphemisms and there might not be a worse one than “get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Not because it’s inaccurate, but because it’s misapplied. We expect athletes to adapt to various stimuli in training and to grit their way through the really difficult parts because they’re “uncomfortable,” right?
Maybe not… When I survey my athletes at the end of the year, I always ask what the most uncomfortable part of training is and more than 90% say the same thing: MONOTONY. Training is just boring. Paradoxically, their most favorable experiences are the hardest, heaviest, highest intensity training days because it allows them to empty the tank to see the results of the monotony.
“Embrace the Suck”
Another popularly misunderstood euphemism is “embrace the suck.” Popularized in military circles through books and movies, “embracing the suck” seems to have the same application as “get comfortable being uncomfortable.”
Like most things derived from military culture, ETS has been conveniently redefined into a marketing term for leaders (coaches) to get people (athletes) to be more compliant during the most challenging parts of training.
One thing I learned during my short time in the Army and through my extensive work with military clients and units is that embracing the suck is much less about the most intense training evolutions and much more about the mundane.
Much of military training, especially in the special operations community, is about adapting to repetition. The best special operators are not always the strongest, fastest, most capable but more often they are the most consistent IN EVERYTHING THEY DO.
Embracing the suck in these circles is about existing consistently in the boredom of doing the same things repetitively for weeks, months, and years to where it no longer sucks and it’s just part of who you are.
Can there be a better ideal for our athletes to aspire to?
Train Analogy
I wrote last week about the analogy of the train I use to describe the training process for incoming freshman athletes. I ask them to visualize a train on the tracks and to tell me what they see and usually they describe engines, cars of different colors, shapes, sizes and all the variations therein. I then ask them to zoom out to see the train from a birds’ eye view and tell me what they see and the answers become much more…boring.
I use trains as an analogy for the training process for a number of reasons.
Trains are remarkably consistent
Trains are relatively slow moving but always reach their destination
Even with variance between cars, most trains are the exact same basic structures for long distances
Train-ing as a term seems to help orient athletes to the process-orientation we all want for them
Self-Determination Theory and Training
There has been a lot of noise made in the last few years about mental toughness and much like the static on analog FM radios that none of you remember using, it can be difficult to establish a clear signal on what mental toughness is. Luckily, psychologists have diligently studied mental toughness and its requisite components to provide with some parameters so we don’t need to make our definitions, even though many do anyway.
Positive psychology gave us one of the best frameworks for developing mental toughness and it’s unbelievably simple. Self-determination theory is the concept that we can develop three qualities in people (athletes) to help them become more resilient - not resistant - to adversity.
Autonomy
Relatedness
Competence
The amazing thing about these qualities is that we can develop them using training as a vehicle. When we accept athletes’ feedback/suggestions on components of the training process and cede control over their outcomes, they develop autonomy. Humans are autonomous beings and when we control every aspect of an athletes’ process, we inculcate learned helplessness instead of autonomy.
Relatedness is built into being part of a team, however, if coaches do not actively facilitate connections between themselves and their athletes, and their athletes between each other, confirmation bias takes over and the community as a team devolves into small groups with little overlap between them. Relatedness can’t be cultivated through “team-building” activities, but rather through the mundane interactions teams have daily and the encouragement of open communication and self-disclosure (and examples) from coaches.
Competence is the ultimate mental skill. A competent athlete has developed in a way that is consistent over time, leading to unshakeable confidence. Competence comes from patiently executing the most boring aspects of preparation so that when adversity strikes, the athlete absorbs the impact, regroups, and moves forward with the confidence that only time and repetition can develop.
All of these concepts apply to coaching and life as well.